Be aware of each other expectations and needs.
As relationship expert says: men are from mars, women are from Venus.
For married couples, this awareness is important. They need to remember that they are two different people with totally different expectations from the same marriage. This is why you must keep trying to communicate your thoughts, needs, and expectations, even if it means learning and using your spouses “ language.”
Many of our expectations of what marriage should be like come from the media, our own observations about how out parents were with each other, and how were wired as men and women. “Expert says, for example, what a mans basic need is the approval and trust of his wife, while the woman’s basic assured by her husband.
“The media tends to make the wife expect more involvement from the husband at home, even when he’s already working full time outside,” says expert. “This often happens when there’s a new baby, and the wife ends up spending more time at home doing routine work. Her discontent with her role makes her forget that while she is doing her share for the family, her husband is doing his share as well by working. You have to sit down and talk about how to really help each other. Figure out how you can compromise realistically. After all, you husband needs to be awake at work, too.”
Growing up in a family where our parents fulfilled certain roles also influences our ideas about what happy marriage should be like.
“Vince’s mother did everything for their dad,” says grace Cruz, a working mother of two. She and Vince have been married for 17 years. “My mother in law was always the one who prepared her husbands baon, ironed his clothes, and reminded him to take his vitamins- while holding the glass of water and the opened bottle of pills, of course,” grace shakes her head. “O know that sometimes Vince is disappointed that I’m not my mother in law. Were two different people.”
Having expectations isn’t bad; in fact, they can make you work harder at keeping your marriage exciting and more enjoyable. But having these expectations, not letting your spouse know, and forgetting that he has needs and expectations of his own are sure recipes for arguments and frustation.